I am pushed, shoved, but still stuck, addicted to loneliness and incompetence by news, views and visual garbage of flukes…

The route to a wonderful life, to success, is at my fingertips. But the ones that may matter to me is nowhere near.

Inundated by incoherent babble to believe in myself, my idea of having, and grabbing dreams, I am made to believe to work hard to reach where I have to. I am led to believe in doing my time, as my youth repent the economics of employment. Then they say that those who made it has faith. I should, must have faith in…

Find a job!

Your life’s work is your job. No one will ever know if they stopped their climb or settled somewhere in the brow. And when I reach there, the hallowed doors, I strain and I unlearn to earn a few lines on a piece of paper. I am a labourer, a headcount, a payroll number. I am a role, a process, an expense.

Everybody’s out of work or scared of losing their job. And there’s nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there’s no end to it. Maybe, it’s not your story. But it’s the story I hear every day. You might care if you’d know that it is so, and you’ll be next. I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!” – Howard Beale, The Network (1976)

I am broke.

I have been rejected so many times, Either I am not good enough, or maybe I don’t know how best to tell you how great I am. Maybe my aspirations are way too high.

Maybe I am not good for their tasks of stacking shelves? Maybe there aren’t enough jobs our there.

I compromised.

I worked every waking hour to a cause, an idea, an institution to get the job done. Wherever I am, I am one of you. I am passionate, and I am grateful to be there. Wherever I am. But this may not be me?

Learn something more. That’s the way to go. Why should I learn? What do I learn? Did I learn enough? Is this the right way to reach the place I want to?

I should be happy.

Everybody knows things are bad. It’s a depression of the spiritual kind. A data-driven spirituality. A depression by the aggregation of power, information and opportunity with the other.